"And the Lord said, 'Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: [b]ut I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.'
And he said unto him, 'Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.'
And he said, 'I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.'"
(Luke 22:31-34, KJV)
That's the denial that is most damaging. A denial of Christ as our Lord, in whatever case.
Three times Peter would casually deny that he even knew Christ. This is a far cry from "Lord I am ready to go with thee, both in prison, and to death."
What promises have I made to you Lord, what words have I spoken to you, of love, of devotion? What promises have I made to you, that like Peter, I have since denied?
I told you that you could and must have all of my heart, mind, soul, and strength; have I taken some back?
I told you that you could have my very life, each and every precious moment? Have I lived that way?
I told you that I loved you, that you were my one and only? Have I been unfaithful in our Divine Romance?
Oh God, at all three counts, like Simon Peter I stand guilty!
Have mercy on me Lord for I have faltered, and Lord I do not wish to.
Lord like the hymn says "take my heart...seal it for Thy courts Above."
I feel as if this is the only way I can ever presently stay by Thy side, O God.
And that is my desire. Lord, look at my heart, that is my desire.
There is more, however, for Christ said: "[b]ut I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren."
Indeed, Peter's faith, in the end did not fail.
And when he was "covertred" as Christ mentions, he would strengthen his brethren, and fulfill God's purpose for his life. The important thing was the repentence.
"Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)
Some translations say "kindness." "God's kindness leads us to repentence." Indeed, that tender love always leads us to repentence and is the only force powerful enough to move us into a perservering obedience and faithful relationship.
Real, sacrificial, all-enduring Love: aga'pe.
O Lord God, I repent, because I Love you. Because you first Loved me. You are Good, Lord. May your name be Blessed, forever, amen.
